Featured image: Jon Birger examines the reason so many college-educated women have trouble finding equal partners in his book, “Date-onomics.” Photo from JonBirger.com.
Jon Birger, a reporter for Fortune magazine, noticed an interesting situation at work. That most of the older men were married and taken, but a majority of the females were ‘unhappily’ single. These are smart, intelligent, career women with plenty of things going for them, it made little sense that they we’re having no luck dating, so Birger set out to discover why this was.
Jon Birger speaks about the economics of online and mobile dating in a session at SXSW Interactive on Saturday, March 12, 2016. Photo by Raven Kelly Smith.
Speaking at SXSW Interactive 2016 on Saturday, March 12, 2016, Birger laid out the claims in his new book, “Date-onomics.” He says the reason some educated, career-oriented women have trouble finding partners comes down to a supply-and-demand issue: there are too many college-educated women and not enough college-educated men. Women want to find college-educated partners, but these men are in short supply.
This lopsided ratio is not a new phenomenon, and we can’t blame Tinder for our impending hookup culture either. According to Birger, there’s a pattern of new technology bearing the blame for a perceived “hookup” culture. In the 1920s, one judge referred to the car as an “orgy pit on wheels,” attributing the rise of flapper culture to the rise in automobiles. In reality, Birger states, the hookup culture was a result of the 10 million men who had died or were seriously maimed in WWI. The shift caused in the roaring 20s apparently had to do little with the booming post-war economy and more to do with an overall lack of men to hold women back from being their free selves, Birger said.
With this historical context in mind, Birger conducted his research at various colleges around the country, notably at ones with skewed gender ratios.
The not-so-golden ratio
At around 60 percent gender ratio, things start to get interesting. If the ratio favors men, e.g. four women for every three guys, a “hook-up” culture forms. Interviewees described it as a “sex-first” culture that emphasized having a good time over commitment. Far from being negative, clinical studies have shown this culture actually results in better sex, with pleasure and foreplay being ranked as much better compared to places with more monogamous cultures.
In contrast, universities with a higher guy-to-girl ratio had a culture where monogamous relationships and courtship were by far the norms. These campuses had one other effect: sexual assault rates were lower on average than the rates on female-dominant campuses. These results have been reflected internationally too. Results in China show that the 61 percent male-to-female ratio has resulted in an overall rise in petty crime, but a starling drop in cases of rape and sexual assault. It seems that when females are in short supply, men are much more protective and respective of them, Birger theorized.
Less women means men settle down faster
With a deficit of either gender, the majority gender tends to prioritize career and work over relationships. Birger found the pattern holds in Silicon Valley, where men far outnumber women. The marriage rate is 78 percent in the area, compared to a 67 percent nationally. Men tended to be more business-focused, and the average gross income of individuals in Santa Clara county is significantly higher than the national average. The area also has 38 percent more men than women. This leads Birger to speculate that the reason male tech workers in Silicon Valley are so successful is they have “no women to distract them.” Put another way, Gretchen Wagner, writing for the San Francisco Book Review wrote, “A dearth of women tends to lead to longer, more stable relationships, higher marriage rates, and increased achievement by the men seeking to woo them.” She gave the book a five-star rating.
In short, ladies — it’s not your fault if you cant get a date. If you’re looking for someone tall, handsome, and college educated, you’ll likely be on the hunt for awhile. But there’s still some good news: Birger said if you’re willing to uncheck that “college educated” box, you’ll probably have better luck.
7 Comments
Digital dating and millennial social norms have seriously changed the dating scene in my opinion. It is super obvious why listening to my parents advice while I was growing up did not work. I feel like this new dating scene is harder on guys though to be honest. Girls still have more of a selection than men do when it comes to online dating. Social media also makes everything public and everyone connected. I feel like female brains and personalities are more structured to deal with this. In my opinion men have a harder time thinking in this way. I think this is what made it so difficult for me to date while in college. I had to get help online. I recommend this to all guys who are struggling. I personally like to read this dudes blog Modernmack.com. I would read his articles and get a book on game in general. He recs one but you can always go another route. I read the one book he mentions about texting and it basically changed how I interact with all people and not just women. Pretty interesting stuff. Wow turned into a rant. Sorry guys might be a little over caffeinated lol
Haha, no worries, I concur when it comes to social media, he didn’t really bring it up in his talk though (and nothing wrong with a little ranting or over-caffeination).
“Girls still have more of a selection than men do when it comes to online dating.” Not true. If you date women from outside the US, you are in high demand. Sincerely, happily married man.
I also find college educated women are a lot more picky when seeking it comes to men so they close themselves off from men who are legitimately interesting in them but don’t fit their criteria. Not bashing their choices but it’s just a personal observation.
It’s interesting because that was a point he was actually making. That women tend to seek partners with college degrees, and that according to the data, we should be less picky. It was food for thought at least!
Well now that many women today have their Careers which they’re so very high maintenance, independent, selfish, spoiled, greedy, picky, and very money hungry which really speaks for itself why many of us Good men are single today since so many of these women really want the Best and will Not settle for Less.
If the market is not buying, go to a different market that is. Not every market has large numbers of women in the workforce. PhD Marketing student