Jon Stewart, host of “The Daily Show,” did not hold back his frustration and disbelief following the first presidential debate of 2024 between Joe Biden and Donald Trump. During a live edition of his show, Stewart roasted both candidates’ performances, expressing particular concern over Biden’s frail and shaky demeanor throughout the 90-minute CNN telecast.
Stewart began by addressing the conservative conspiracy theories that suggested Biden would use performance-enhancing drugs to boost his debate performance. “The one thing that we did prove tonight is that MAGA conspiracy theory about Biden’s upcoming debate performance was nonsense,” Stewart said. He then rolled clips of conservatives making these claims, only to counter with, “Let me just say after watching tonight’s debate, both of these men should be using performance-enhancing drugs — as much of it as they can get, as many times a day, as their bodies will allow.”
Stewart’s frustration was palpable as he continued, “Performance-enhancing drugs that will improve their lucidity, their ability to solve problems, and — in one of the candidate’s case — improve their truthfulness, morality, and malignant narcissism. Whatever magical drugs that can kick their brains into gear, because this ain’t Olympic swimming. Oh, he solved the Middle East, but he was doping, so it doesn’t count? And if those drugs don’t exist, if there aren’t actual performance-enhancing drugs for these candidates, I could sure fucking use some recreational ones right now. Because this cannot be real life! It just can’t! Fuck! We’re America!”
The most impactful moment of Stewart’s monologue came when he played a clip of Biden seemingly blanking out and losing his train of thought about 10 minutes into the debate. The audience’s reaction was a mix of silence and pained moans. “Call the real estate agent in New Zealand,” Stewart quipped, adding, “Sure, [Biden’s lapse is] not something that repeated throughout the debate causing Democrats across the country to either jump out of windows or vomit silently into the nearest recycling bin. Anybody can fuck up … talking. A lot of people have resting 25th Amendment face.”
Stewart also took aim at Trump, criticizing him for making numerous false statements. “Everything that Donald Trump said in that clip is a lie,” Stewart said. “Blatant and full. And we were tight on time putting this thing together. There’s plenty more.”
CNN’s post-debate panel was equally scathing about Biden’s performance. Anchor John King declared, “This was a game-changing debate. Right now, as we speak, there is a deep, a wide, and a very aggressive panic in the Democratic Party. It involves party strategists, involves elected officials. It involves fundraisers, and they’re having conversations about the President’s performance, which they think was dismal, which they think will hurt other people down the party on the ticket, and they’re having conversations about what they should do about it.” King added that he had never received such panicked and distressed text messages in all his years covering debates.
Political analyst Van Jones also expressed his disappointment, saying, “I love Joe Biden. I worked for Joe Biden. He didn’t do well … I just want to speak from my heart. I love that guy. He’s a good man. He loves this country. He’s doing the best he can. But he had a chance to restore confidence of the country and the base and he failed to do that. And I think there’s a lot of people who are going to want to see him consider taking a different course now. We’re still far from our convention. And there is time for this party to figure out a different way for people to do that. It was personally painful for a lot of people.”
Former White House communications director Alyssa Farah Griffin was blunt in her assessment: “I believe Biden lost in the first three minutes. I think a lot of voters probably tuned out and millions of people are having conversations with their families and with their friends if the President is up to the task, and if he should step aside. I’m someone who believes the former president is a threat to democracy. I think he is a threat to America and we know he wants to fundamentally change our institutions. He has laid out what his plan is. I am not confident that [Biden is] the man to take him on. He cannot tell me democracy is on the line and then give that performance.”
Stewart’s monologue continued to highlight Biden’s struggles, including a moment where Biden confused saving Medicare with “beating” it. “Need to call a real estate agent in New Zealand,” Stewart quipped again, attempting to do some damage control on Biden’s behalf. “OK, a high-pressure situation. A lot of times you can confuse saving Medicare with beating it. I’m sure it’s not something that repeated throughout the debate, causing Democrats across the country to either jump out of windows or vomit silently into the nearest recycling bin.”
Stewart’s frustration grew as he showed how Biden handled the topic of Roe v. Wade, which Stewart described as “Trump’s weakest issue.” Unfortunately, Biden responded to the topic of reproductive rights by swerving into a ramble about immigration, which Trump immediately used to his advantage. A defeated Stewart asked, “So how do we do this now? Do I take [Trump’s] car back to the White House tonight?”
In conclusion, Stewart’s reaction to the debate was a mix of humor and genuine concern. His call for both candidates to use performance-enhancing drugs was a satirical take on the dire state of the political landscape. “Let me just say, after watching tonight’s debate, both of these men should be using performance-enhancing drugs. I’m sorry, both. As much of it as they can get, as many times a day as their bodies will allow. If performance-enhancing drugs will improve their lucidity, their ability to solve problems, and in one of the candidates’ cases, improve their truthfulness, morality, and malignant narcissism, then suppository away.”
Stewart ended his monologue with a sense of disbelief, “And by the way, if those drugs don’t exist, if there aren’t actually performance-enhancing drugs for these candidates, I could sure use some recreational ones right now. Because this cannot be real life. It just can’t.”
Source: The Daily Show, CNN
