Seen Aromi, a 37-year-old YouTuber from South Korea, has found joy and fulfillment by rejecting societal expectations and embracing solo living. In a country where the government invests heavily in encouraging marriage and procreation to combat a low birthrate, Seen’s lifestyle stands in stark contrast. She practices yoga, enjoys a flexible sleep schedule, and inspires her substantial YouTube following to embrace singlehood without shame or guilt.
“Not getting married is my greatest achievement,” Seen told AFP, emphasizing that she never considered becoming a “good” wife or mother as her life’s ultimate goal. She criticized the notion that women not having children in South Korea is a “disaster,” referring to the country’s impending demographic crisis, which boasts the world’s lowest birth rate and a rapidly aging population. For Seen, the potential drawbacks of not having children are nonexistent.
Seen’s book, “I Can’t Help but Live Well On My Own,” which celebrates the joy she discovered in rejecting societal expectations and embracing solo living, has become an unexpected bestseller in South Korea. It briefly topped a major bestseller chart and resonated not only with other single women in their 30s but also with older generations, including those who had experienced widowhood or divorce. In her book, Seen enthusiastically wrote about the freedom to be as lazy as she desired without facing criticism, stating, “While some people might marry because they dislike being alone, others choose not to meet anyone simply because they enjoy lying around.”
Experts suggest that many young Koreans are opting out of marriage and child-rearing due to economic factors, such as stagnant growth, exorbitant home prices in Seoul, and fierce competition for well-paying jobs. However, broader cultural issues also play a role, as the country remains socially conservative, with single parenthood being stigmatized, same-sex marriage not recognized, and married women often leaving the workforce, spending 3.5 times more hours per day on household chores and childcare than their male counterparts.
For Seen, letting go of the traditional South Korean markers of success – a Seoul apartment, a high-paying job, and a loving spouse – has allowed her to find genuine happiness. She has never worked for a large corporation, lived in the city, or been married. After living abroad for years, working various jobs, and sharing her life experiences online, she returned to South Korea and settled in a rural town, renovating her late grandfather’s old family house. Her YouTube channel has grown in popularity, amassing over 200,000 subscribers, and a single video now earns her five times more than her previous monthly salary in Seoul, enabling her to lead a much more autonomous and satisfying life.
Despite the backlash she has faced online, with critics claiming she must be lonely or labeling her as “selfish” for not getting married, Seen remains steadfast in her belief that her happiness should be respected, just as married people’s happiness is rarely criticized. She has been in several fulfilling relationships but prioritizes her autonomy and adventurous lifestyle over starting a family.
Susan, an ICF accredited Life Coach and avid adventurer, also embraces singlehood while constantly challenging herself. As a confident single woman, Susan shares and inspires widely about her breakthroughs beyond self-imposed limitations. She reflects on how many single women fall into the trap of chasing a picture-perfect life that leaves them feeling empty. Susan used to be one of them, believing that happiness was a reward waiting at the finish line of life’s achievements.
Growing up in an environment where love was expressed through acts of service, Susan struggled to recognize and appreciate being loved or feeling loved. This shaped her belief that happiness came from doing good and being of service to others. She chased this idea relentlessly, hoping that each achievement would bring her closer to a sense of fulfillment and lasting happiness. However, she found herself increasingly discontented and unfulfilled.
One day, it hit her: she was playing a rigged game. Fear of failure and self-doubt whispered that true happiness only existed on the other side of some distant finish line. She was living in the pursuit of conditional happiness, only to find it continually unfulfilling and bringing unhappiness. Susan began challenging these limiting beliefs, questioning why her well-being should be conditioned by external validation or the fulfillment of societal expectations. Happiness shouldn’t be a checklist; it shouldn’t be conditional. Conditional happiness is not true happiness; it is just temporary and not sustainable.
This new perspective wasn’t easy. It meant confronting her fears head-on, dismantling the walls of self-doubt. It meant embracing self-compassion and learning to love and accept herself – flaws and all. It is still a work in progress, perhaps a lifelong journey to be mindful of not falling into the same trap in search of happiness.
The key to unlocking this new kind of happiness wasn’t about doing more, but about being present. Susan has learned a few things that work for her, which she now shares with others:
– Embrace the journey and be gentle with yourself. Practicing self-compassion is crucial to navigating life’s twists and turns. Understanding that setbacks and imperfections are simply part of the journey and not a detrimental end.
– Understand yourself. Self-awareness is empowering. Recognizing strengths and weaknesses allows for authentic growth. Regularly practicing gratitude fosters a lasting sense of happiness.
– Confront your fear. Courageously facing fears and insecurities head-on can be transformative. Often, what holds us back from unconditional happiness are the fears lingering in the shadows.
– Find your spark. Seek out people, experiences, or practices that ignite positive change within you. Surrounding yourself with influences that inspire growth is invaluable.
– Identify your saboteurs. Saboteurs are negative emotions that hinder happiness. Acknowledging them is the first step, and then refusing to let them dictate your happiness.
– Set realistic expectations. Understanding that happiness isn’t a constant state but rather a journey filled with peaks and valleys can shift your perspective.
– Find your passions and happiness. Discovering what sets your soul on fire can be a game-changer. Cultivating passions provides a source of inner strength and resilience, regardless of external circumstances.
Happiness, Susan now understands, isn’t a transaction. It’s a recognition of our inherent worth, a celebration of our unique selves. We are human beings, not human doings. And within that realization lies the key to unlocking a life of boundless joy and fulfillment. So, dare to embrace the fullness of who you are, and let your radiant authenticity illuminate the path to unconditional happiness.
Source: AFP
