Parenting is undeniably exhausting, especially during the early years when children demand constant attention and playtime. For parents who have ever felt guilty about not engaging in every play session with their kids, Caitlin Murray, also known as Big Time Adulting, offers a refreshing perspective that has sparked a significant debate.
Murray, a mother of three, recently shared a selfie on social media with the caption: “I am not my kids’ playmate.” In her post, she elaborated on why she avoids engaging in “real” play with her children, a stance that has resonated with many parents.
“I engage with my kids, a lot,” Murray began. “I talk with them (it’s one of the things I love most about them getting older), I joke with them, cuddle them, dance with them, do a puzzle, get active outdoors or play sports with them, but under pretty much zero circumstances, will I ever engage in play that involves role playing or doing anything imaginary because…wait for it…I can’t f*cking stand it.”
Murray candidly admitted that imaginary play bores her to tears. She explained that she already does enough task-oriented activities for her children, such as preparing meals, cleaning up, and doing laundry, and she refuses to add play to that list. “I simply do not enjoy it, and my energy is important to me. When/if they’ve asked me to play, I let them know in a soft way that it’s not something I do. They accept it and move on.”
Her honesty has drawn mixed reactions. Some people have been “appalled” or called it “sad,” but Murray feels differently. She believes it’s “kind of normal for a grown woman not to be interested in playing princesses.”
“If you enjoy imaginary play with your kids, that’s awesome,” she wrote. “I hope both you and your children have wonderfully fond memories of it together—my point is not to take away from your experience.”
Murray emphasized that many parents are surprised by the aspects of parenting they find less appealing, and that’s perfectly okay. “There is NEVER only one right way to do something. My kids are awesome and my relationship with them is so solid. I have found that trusting my own instincts in what’s best for me and my kids has almost always been the right thing for us, and I hope more parents can find peace knowing there is no formula or script or way that you need to feel like you have to do things. Your way will do just fine. F*ck the guilt,” she concluded.
Her post has struck a chord with many parents who shared their own feelings of guilt about not enjoying imaginary play. One commenter wrote, “I have such guilt for not enjoying imaginary play. Thank you for sharing this.”
However, not everyone agreed with Murray’s perspective. One person pointed out, “This is a privilege. Some kiddos, especially those with disabilities, need support in play.” This comment highlights that while Murray’s approach works for her family, it may not be suitable for all children, particularly those with special needs who might require more interactive play.
Murray acknowledged that there isn’t just one right way to parent. Each child and each parent will have different needs and preferences, and that’s perfectly fine. What works for one family might not work for another, and that diversity is what makes the world go ‘round.
The debate sparked by Murray’s post underscores a broader conversation about the pressures and expectations placed on parents. Many parents feel an immense amount of guilt for not meeting every societal standard or for not enjoying every aspect of parenting. Murray’s candid admission offers a sense of relief and validation for those who struggle with similar feelings.
Parenting is a complex and multifaceted journey, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach. Murray’s perspective encourages parents to trust their instincts and find what works best for their unique family dynamics. It’s a reminder that it’s okay to set boundaries and prioritize one’s own well-being, even in the demanding world of parenting.
In conclusion, Caitlin Murray’s stance on avoiding imaginary play with her children has sparked a significant debate, highlighting the diverse approaches to parenting. Her candidness has resonated with many parents who share similar feelings of guilt and exhaustion. While her approach may not be suitable for all families, it serves as a reminder that there is no single right way to parent. Each family must find what works best for them, and that’s perfectly okay.
Source: Yahoo Finance, Bloomberg, Reuters, Associated Press
