“I am either the worst parent in the world or the best parent in the world,” I texted to my friends as my Lyft headed towards JFK airport. My nine-year-old daughter, the passenger beside me, was far less anxious. Thanks to her persuasive skills, we were about to fly across the ocean to see her idol, Taylor Swift.
For a long time, I resisted my daughter’s pleas to invest in the Tay-conomy. I enjoy Taylor Swift’s music as much as any 40-something mom, and I adore her new album more than most critics. But why see her live when YouTube, Spotify, and the concert movie on Disney+ exist? If Eras tour merchandise is the modern girl’s treasure, there’s always eBay.
Last summer, I tried to curb my daughter’s obsession by organizing a large mother-daughter outing to the concert movie. Twenty of us loaded up on Sour Patch Kids and concession-stand rosé, dancing and singing along inches from the screen. It was an unforgettable night.
But the Taylor cries persisted. Stories of other kids taking overnight trips to Los Angeles, Miami, and Madrid didn’t help. I told my daughter that spending over a thousand dollars on a concert was against my principles. When I was her age, my mother took me to klezmer concerts at Jewish festivals accessible by the 2 train.
But kids these days! My daughter found tickets at a fraction of the US price and made a compelling PowerPoint presentation. My husband and I frowned, sighed, and then caved. Maybe this would buy us another year without her begging for a dog?
Traveling across the world to see a megastar is crazy, but it’s becoming the norm. Thanks to Live Nation’s price-gouging practices, finding affordable tickets for even B-list stars is a dream. I grew up hoarding cassette tapes of The Bangles and Cyndi Lauper. I remember my parents’ reaction when I suggested hiring Madonna for my 10th birthday party. But who’s laughing now? Maybe the executives at Live Nation.
Parenting in the US today means either depriving or capitulating. Either way, you feel guilty and stupid. A recent survey found that almost half of parents who take their young children to Disney World go into debt. There’s also the issue of moral debt. Is it unreasonable to not want my children to believe a night of live music should cost four figures? Merrick Garland recently sued Live Nation for monopolistic practices, which they deny.
Last week, I bought two standing tickets at Murrayfield Stadium, booked indirect flights to Edinburgh (now I can say I’ve been to Germany and Sweden!), and arranged housing with a friend’s mother. Within a frantic day, everything was sorted. A mothering high and low point.
At the show, my daughter managed to secure a front-row spot. She waved at her idol like an animatronic cat in a beauty salon window. At one point, I was sure Taylor waved back. After the spectacular show, during which the crowd danced so hard it registered as seismic activity, a security detail approached my daughter and handed her Taylor’s guitar pick. She was ecstatic. So was I. Maybe I had been a Swift Scrooge all along.
The next day, I posted an Instagram story of my daughter on the shoulders of a kind Scottish lady who helped her get a better view of the Folklore set. The image generated a flood of messages from other moms. “About to sell my soul to go in New Orleans.” “Dear lord, we’re going to Vienna.” “My failure to pull off anything like this has made me feel incredibly guilty.”
Was Eras in Edinburgh the best night of my daughter’s life? Without a doubt. Am I the best or worst parent in the world? Yes and yes. Would I ever do something like that again? No. Which means my dog-mom days might not be far away.
