In the vast and diverse galaxy of Star Trek, humans seem to dominate the scene despite the presence of numerous alien species. This is particularly evident in Starfleet, where most ships are predominantly crewed by humans, with only a few non-humans scattered among them. While the practical reason for this might be the cost of prosthetics and CGI, fans have developed an intriguing in-universe theory: humans are in control because of their sheer insanity, which inexplicably yields results.
The theory begins with a simple question: why do Starfleet ships experience such bizarre malfunctions so frequently, while ships manned by Romulans, Klingons, and other species do not? Why don’t we hear about crazy holodeck malfunctions on Andorian vessels? According to many online theorists, the answer lies in the unique nature of humans in the Star Trek universe. They are seen as “a bunch of deranged hyper-neophiles” who can produce an unlimited number of “bulls**t space-magic countermeasures” if their ships are attacked.
One theorist offers a hypothetical scenario: if you gave most Trek species two warp cores, they would use one and keep the other as a backup. Humans, on the other hand, would do something crazy like plugging the two cores together to see if it would make their ship twice as fast. In the Star Trek universe, the idiotic stuff humans try actually works half the time. The other half? Well, that’s what causes all the bizarre malfunctions.
The existence of holodecks is further proof of the Star Trek crazy humans theory. Particularly in Star Trek: The Next Generation and Star Trek: Voyager, holodecks are nothing but menaces waiting to realize their potential. We’ve seen multiple fictional villains become self-aware, Starfleet officers get stuck in the holodeck and forced to act out fantasies, and the so-called “safety protocols” get shut off seemingly every few minutes. Officers have become addicted to holodeck fantasies, and murderers have used the holodeck to create locked-door whodunnits.
One of the most violent Voyager two-parters ever has the hunter-obsessed Hirogen take over the ship and force The Doctor to wipe the memories of the crew and insert false memories so the aliens can use the Starfleet officers as prey in holodeck scenarios pulled from World War II or ancient Klingon conflicts. Despite all this insanity, Starfleet continues to give a thumbs up to this bonkers technology it clearly has only the thinnest understanding of. If that isn’t proof of the Star Trek crazy humans theory, what else could be?
Deep Space Nine provides further evidence for the theory. Unlike other Starfleet vessels, the eponymous station wasn’t built by humans but was seized from the departing Cardassians. As a result, it suffered far fewer strange malfunctions. While DS9 had multiple holosuites, there was only ever one holosuite malfunction episode in its entire run—“Our Man Bashir.” Other episodes that focused on the holosuites, like “It’s Only a Paper Moon” and “Badda-Bing, Badda-Bang,” weren’t malfunction episodes. They didn’t have Sherlock Holmes villains taking over the station or Bashir falling in love with self-aware holographic women on the beach. They simply took place in the holosuite.
So, if you find yourself in the universe of Star Trek and prefer a calm, peaceful life, you’d do well to get a spot on a Vulcan-run ship. Or maybe stay off spaceships altogether. But if you want to see if the presence of a magic orb on your ship will randomly send you back in time, or if you just want the chance to go through a potentially never-ending time loop only to find yourself face to face with Frasier, get yourself a spot on a human ship immediately!
Source: ReactorMag
