In March 2018, Molly Baker’s life was turned upside down when her husband, Marlin, tragically died in a skiing accident. The initial weeks following his death were filled with support from friends and family, but as time passed, the outpouring of help began to wane. People had to return to their routines, and Molly found herself increasingly isolated.
Amidst this challenging period, one of Molly’s friends, Carla Vail, devised a unique way to provide ongoing support. Carla introduced the concept of the “Calendar Girls.” She gathered 31 of Molly’s friends who were willing to help and assigned each of them a specific day of the month. On their designated day, each friend would reach out to Molly in some tangible way—whether through a text, a phone call, or a card. It didn’t have to be anything grand, just a small gesture to show they cared.
Carla also provided Molly with the names on the calendar, so she knew who to expect each day. This allowed Molly to look at the calendar and see, for example, that it was the sixth of the month and know who was assigned to reach out to her. This setup gave Molly the option to reach out to her friends if she needed emotional support or just someone to talk to.
Reflecting on that year, Molly believes that Carla’s thoughtfulness was crucial in helping her cope with her husband’s death. The consistent support from her friends helped alleviate the loneliness and isolation she often felt.
“A lot of people are really, really uncomfortable around grief and loss,” Molly said. “So what they do is, instead of doing something, they just do nothing, and they don’t say anything. And that’s the worst.”
Molly recalled instances where she would see someone she knew at the grocery store, but instead of saying hello, they would turn around and walk in the other direction. They were so uncomfortable with her loss that they didn’t know what to say. This made the “Calendar Girls” setup even more valuable, as it ensured that she had regular, meaningful interactions with her friends.
Today, Molly tries to do something similar for her own friends who are going through loss, provided they are open to it. She understands how important it is to have something to look forward to each day during difficult times.
“I love that Carla did this,” Molly said. “And I will always be grateful, forever grateful, for that year in my life.”
Source: NPR News
